Tuesday, December 16, 2008

DRINKINGdownTHEmedicine

I don't mean to look a gift house in the mouth,but I have had some serious issues since I was lucky enough to get to contribute to the NYTimes.com.
I mean, sure it has been really great to go from having an average of like 40 people read my blog to something like 8 or 9 hundred for a couple of days, but I still wonder if this was all worth it. First of all, I am used to blogging by now, and that is what I was told that I would be doing over there. You know, you write something down and keep going until the idea bares fruit and then you push the PUBLISH BUTTON, and boom! You are done. At NYTimes, they actually edit what I wrote. They have people who come back and ask questions. They want facts, or for me to elaborate. The sad truth is I hardly even proof read once before I click...
I tend to think that what I do as a writer is supposed to be fun or spontaneous. But OK. It is a newspaper. There is a certain amount of news that they expect. So I can live with that.
But then there were the comments. Boy I thought I had much thicker skin than I obviously do because I was really taken a back by what I got. I mean from the cabal of AA memebers who either wanted me to join a meeting or just assumed that I go, to the people who actually belittle my efforts as an artist and my stupidity for writing that there is no difference between a shrink and a psychic (DUH! That was Fun-ny you moron) to the positive folks who thanked me for saving their lives that day...Whoa. I am not really ready for all of this. And look, I know that I send out my blog and push the little button and it feels good. I already admitted that. But I don't rip people up and then push SEND. Have a little self editing and empathy for christ's sake. I mean the Times demands that I use an editor, why not ask others to do a little homework, too.

ANyway- I am done complaining here. I just needed to vent and I am sorry for taking advantage of anyone who has actually read all of this. It was cathartic. And I am really trying to be humorous and entertaining. Whether I write about alcohol or anything, that is what I am trying to do. I am just trying to find something to hang onto, to find that glimmer of hope or joy; to keep life feeling a little bit romantic. That is all. I wish people didn't take stuff so seriously.
Just wait until they see the next installment for the NYTimes...If I don't watch out, there is going to a candlelight vigil outside my window held by the AA local. I mean, I really liked drinking. It was fun. I guess I was lucky enough not to cause any real harm before I moved on. That's just the way I feel.
DK

15 comments:

knithound brooklyn said...

Actually, you have one reader now who discovered you through the Times blog series, and I do appreciate your efforts. Putting yourself out there, whether as an artist or a blogger takes guts. Especially when one is honest about one's life. Don't stop.

Chris Tolomei aka alicethelma said...

So are in you in recovery?

Anonymous said...

I just finished reading your post on the NY Times and here I am reading your post on your blog. (Incidentally, this is the first time I've ever responded to a blog -- I'm not totally comfortable with the concept.) But your writing has such an honest tone and your questions about the very act of blogging -- non-editing vs. editing, feedback, judgement, etc -- spoke to me. Thank you.

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Dan Callahan said...

David thank you for your honesty. I have found in life that people in general love to complain. They love to offer their opinion. And they love to be "RIGHT". Often to a fault. Folks in AA are no different. It is frustrating I blog on addiction on social networks and my site. Because I have limited readers I answer most of my comments. Most are positive but some are the typical "you are wrong, I am right and God is my judge".

I hope you keep on keeping on, people need to know that there is another way, the "How" is less important than the necessity.

Dan, www.TheLastResortPa.com

David said...

Maybe there is some value in having an editor go over everything because I want to say that I did not mean to sound angry at those who left comments. I am just saying that it really confused me to get stuff from directions that I never expected or thought about.

I have been lucky since I quit drinking. I was scared shitless when I got sick and am afraid to go near the stuff again. As I said before, I know exactly what addiction does feel like. I am totally addicted to cigarettes. Booze was never the same. It was just that once I got started it became like I had a hollow wooden leg that just had to be topped off to tell me it was time to go home.
David

Humble Critic said...

David,
How irresponsible for the TIMES not to explain how thoroughly they'd be editing your blog. And how brave you are to share your story, which is still unfolding, especially in a forum that invites critics, some of them welcome, some frustrating.
Your integrity is what matters most, and it shines through in your writing. Truly an inspiration.
All the best from your former clients in nyc,
David & Tom

bakannal said...

You do you bro. And keep at the no-drinking thing.

Spatula said...

Dude, people ripping other people up and pushing SEND is the greatest joy and delight of like 80% of the Internet's population. When you get a quorum of hatahs, it's a sign you have reached blogger Valhalla, or something like that. Maybe you are now the blogger equivalent of, uh, 15th level mage?

the editor said...

People love to see their writing on the net just as much as they like to hear themselves talk. And people have strong opinions about recovery, if they're in it or not.
Get ready to ignore more stupid comments, and remember that nobody can dictate your sobriety.
PS- I love your drawing on I want to live in my alternate reality.

Lorrie Veasey said...

Screw the 500 readers baby; YOU'VE GOT SPAM! Cabal feeking whatever: you have so made the big time.

Distributorcap said...

look at it this way - even if they are criticizing you and lambasting you they are reading you - and learning something

your honesty does transcend in sneaky ways

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say I think "Buybacks" is the best post in the series so far. The NYT should have warned you not to read the comments on that site- I don't think the human ego has yet evolved to handle anything like that.

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