Sunday, December 21, 2008


I am not going to bore anyone with the shopworn talk of what Jews do on Christmas. We've all heard the stories of us going out for Chinese food. Or of us as high school kids doing doughnuts
around the empty parking lots of shopping malls, and how sad and lonely it was for us as we have to suffer through horrible TV programing that included choruses and Yule Logs instead of shows that could make the evening pass more quickly. I will not go down that path here.And even though I have been invited in to share in the Christmas miracle with my wife and her family, I still feel like an outsider. But I will say that as much as I have become an adjunct member of a Christmas celebration at my in-laws home and have gotten to witness the shear joy in my son's and my nephew's faces as they tear through the gift wrap, I have managed to carve out a new Christmas tradition in the role of spoil sport. My identity crisis has not prevented me from fully embracing the Christmas spirit. I may have been jaded and ruined by my upbringing as far as Christmas goes but I am proud and happy about that part of my heritage.
In our family we have adopted a tradition that I have pioneered and feel has provided me with a fantastic cheap laugh that has made the holiday totally bearable. NO it is not starting to drink as soon as I wake up...although that would not have been a bad idea.
Sometime along the way I started to tell my son the true tradition of Santa Claus was that he, the Jolly One, is always on the lookout for the good kids, so that he can give them their proper Xmas gifts: Sharp Pencils, New Socks, Paper for their note books for school...Things that good kids would love to find under the Ole Christmas Tree. My son finds this to be total bull. He's not stupid... Then I tell him that the really terrible kids gets Santa's underpants.

I know it is stupid but like I said, I was raised to feel alienated by Christmas.
And all the Christmas Carols and yuletide in the world doesn't seem to have the right kind of effect on me to change things.
Check this out for more Giant Underpants Jokes...DK


kip said...

I have watched this 5 times and it gets funnier everytime.

Dan Callahan said...

That is funny, I think you got it! Enjoy the day (s).....

Dan Callahan
drug and alcohol rehab