Thursday, October 2, 2008

Toothless Alcoholic

I am not so sure about the name of this blog, TOOTHLESS ALCOHOLIC, but for now it sticks.
I gave up drinking this summer. My liver was barking. Or really, my liver was quitting on me. Going quietly into the night. It stopped working for a while there and I can't think of anything grosser to happen to me in my life. It was like I had swallowed sewer water. I could not stand the way I smelled as I slowly filled up like a Portie-John. I went to see a doctor who told me "The liver is like a star-fish..." It has this tremendous ability to recover.... "Tear off one of it's prongs, and it will grow back." If I stopped putting bad things into my body then eventually my body would only be filled with only healthy things. So-these days I am feeling much better. My liver is working fine again. I don't know if I was ever an alcoholic or not. Probably. I do know that I totally romanticized alcohol. And drugs. And cigarettes. Coffee. Fried foods. But for the time being I'm not putting any more poison into my body, even though I have not given up on my romantic ideals.

One American's sober view on the economy:
I was thinking about this bailout that is about to go on in Congress and on Wall Street. I was thinking about how the rich folks in this country haven't had to pay taxes thanks to their mighty leader. I was thinking that those muther-fXckers have been living high off the hog and how the banking system has taken all that money and figured out how to turn it into so much more money by lending it and then lending the notes on the lent money. And how institutions have made money just on the idea that they have paper that says that they have lent money and eventually will be getting more of it back. This is why we cut those taxes to the rich back then in the first place. Because the rich know what to do with all that money so we all can get a piece of it. Let them play with the money and all of us will prosper.
How about this idea... instead of a $700 Billion infusion into the banking system, let's announce that every American can immediately write-off the equivalent on their taxes for 2008. So we can all go on a spending spree. We don't need a check from the government. We just take the money off now and are asked to do our part as citizens and go spend it.  Whatever the share is for the 300 million people living in this country. Whatever $300 million is divided into $700 billion, we each get our share and are mandated as Americans to go and spend it and write it off our taxes for next next April....
Then, when the sea calms down, we tax the rich like everyone else in this country. The Bush tax cuts are pretty much to blame for this mess as they created this whole industry out on Wall Street. That, and the pyramid scheme that the housing market had turned into. We American deserve low taxes and the ability to spend wildly on whatever we want. We don't necessarily deserve to own our own homes. The only reason they want all of us to get homes is so we could all get more and bigger lines of credit... If the Republicans want to rule by low taxes in return for little services for the people, then at least start by taxing everyone the same way. The rich obviously know as little about money as the poor people do. It was the rich folks who got us into this mess to begin with.

David Kramer

10 comments:

kip said...

Glad you are feeling better. I like the spending spree idea.

Lorrie Veasey said...

I like "toothless alcoholic" but it's been a bit difficult convincing my young girlfriends to come for a visit. Had you gone with " well hung academic" you might have garnered higher traffic at the gate.

So now, my friend, you must sign up for google analytics and also you are going to have to get Boobs a blogger identity of her own.

Spatula said...

Hello Toothless! Congratulations on narrowly avoiding a divorce from your liver! I used to romanticize alcohol and cigarettes in my youth, and now I romanticize chocolate, which is cheaper and makes me smell better.

Welcome to the blogonets. I like your tax plan.

P.S. Lorrie sent me, tell her to call off the hitmen.

Le @ Third on the Right said...

Hello from Down Under - Another visitor from the Lorrie bus of babes ...

So I get the alcho bit - but why toothless ... Am gald your starfish is recovering - may you float the right way up for many a more years ... cheers le

ps as for the financial mess - it's like the US has the clap and we little whores in Aust are waiting to see if we caught it too - shame on the banker dudes in the corner office !!

pps I am normally much nicer than this - ask Lorrie ...

Racie Lover said...

I, too, was sent here by Lorrie. I would have come by anyway (don't tell her) for the name of your blog alone. While I am sorry it apparently was inspired by your love of all things fermented, I admire your resolve and committment to putting things right in the liver department. My cousin Bob, Jr. died of cirrosis of the liver and it was not pretty in the least.

As far as the bailout package and last night's debate are concerned, I like your ideas, as well, and am now going to return to my blog and right up some cleverness about both. I have been ignoring my blog because of my pesky boss but it's Friday and to hell with him. Today is pay day and it's too late for him to take my check back. I have direct deposit.

mark said...

The Maverick may have been a piece of sh!t but at least the front seat didnt fall backwards every time you hit the gas!!! like a Ford Torino wagon i remember.

Sorry to hear about the liver. I hope it grows back.

...and do you really think it is going to be a picnic with BO in the house???? Either way you are going to need your liver back!

Keep up the good work!!!

david kramer said...

Mark-
The seat rocked...to give you the "feeling" of excelleration.
Who ever wins the election will be left holding a bag of shit. But McCain will bring more of the same shit with him.DK

Greta said...

Blogging and quitting the drink both seem like awesome target directions for you. Godspeed with both. Dig seeing your work here. See you soon on one coast or another - xo

david kramer said...

Greta-
Blging and not drnkng and taking power walks while carrying two full liter bottles of Evian...
DK

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