Monday, November 17, 2008

I Can Live With The Choices That I have Made , Because I Don't Have Any CHoice About It.

I remember years ago my friend called me up. There was a building in his neighborhood that was
available. It was an old store front and my friend thought it was the perfect spot for a bar. An old swimming pool supplier with a great Aqua Blue exterior and even better inside. I knew the place and I totally beleived him. The place was perfect and would have made a fantastic bar and a money maker for sure. But I told my friend that I didn't think that the bar was for me. I knew that I loved to drink and I would have a terrible time going to work every night and not drinking and keeping myself under control while running a business and keeping the place from getting out of control too. I also was an artist and wanted to concentrait on my career and I knew that if i were to run this kind of business, I would be lucky to get anything else accomplished with my life.
Well, anyway, someone else opened up a bar in the same place... the place was and still is a huge success and the folks that own the place are just rolling in money.
The crowd is always full of cool and attractive people who can't get enough of the old store front that had hardly been altered at all by the people who took it over. And as for me, it didn't matter. I didn't have to own a bar to get into trouble with alcohol. And my art career is still an up hill battle as I am still always wondering when we are ever going to get ahead.
I am proud and happy with the career that I have chosen for myself. I really am. I just keep on wondering how it is that I can keep on making all of my decisions with the best intentions in mind, and why it doesn't ever really seem to make anything in my life seem to come any easier.


Liz said...

When Joseph Cornell told us to "follow your bliss" he did not promise our bliss would bring wealth. Confusing the two is what brings us enormous disappointment. Perhaps you could ease the burden of feeling you are engaged in an uphill battle by changing your POV -- you are actually following your bliss now. You ARE an artist, therefore, you have arrived. The nature of art is struggle. But it's rarely a revenue stream, never mind an easy source of wealth. It is a form of expression and dat's it. For wealth, open a bar. (But I, for one, am so glad you didn't! Fuck wealth!)

Bj in Dallas said...

man, I'm going through the same today. too much stuff falling on my head, that I just have to suck it up and accept. Us creative types tend to be so much harder on ourselves, because we know we are good at what we do, just need to find the correct audience. I by the way, love your artwork. Its funny, in your face, right on, and twisted. Right up my alley. Stay steady, and anyway, your clothes would smell like smoke and bourbon if you owned that bar.

Lorrie Veasey said...

And look at the other real things you have that make you Uber Fortunate: such as good friends like us who love you for who you are!!

That said, if you owned a bar, we probably would hang out with you more, I'm just sayin.